After having performed this song live in public several times in the 1980’s, I finally decided to do a proper in-studio recording of this song.
This was entirely written by Peet McCain, circa 1983.
Author: SmorgShow
On this Father’s Day, I can’t help but recall a favorite memory of mine. Once when I was a middle-aged man, oh so many years ago, my father and I went to a cricket game, a very popular sport in my homeland, while my infant son Ganesh stayed with my mother and fell asleep at their house. I didn’t get back to pick him up until 12:30 a.m., at which point I had to wake the poor child up and put him in the car seat for our ride home. He was really good about it, and fell back asleep for the majority of the 45-minute ride back to my home.
When we got home I grabbed him out of the car seat once again, at which point he got a little fussy. I don’t blame him, I woke him up out of a dead sleep twice and brought him out in the chilly weather. So as I’m carrying him up the walk to our front door through the early morning darkness, Ganesh turns to face me suddenly and says “DADA!!”
And then an amazing thing happened – he ripped not one, not two, but three extremely intense farts. These were LOUD. Maybe they were just amplified by the stillness and dead quiet of the wee morning, but all I know is he farted right on my arm and the vibrations carried all the way to my feet. If any seismologists want to know what that slight tremor was at 1:10 a.m. in the area of the Barnala District of Punjab, fear not! It was merely my son displaying his staggering gastrointestinal capabilities.
But the best part was the aftermath. After he farted, I was flat out impressed. Seriously, it was that good. So he farts, and then there’s this three second pause where I look at him incredulously and he looks at me as if to say “Whoa…did I just do that?” So we’re staring at each other, and then at the exact same time we both start laughing hysterically. Giggling like little kids, which is cool for him and possibly pathetic for me that I still find farts this funny at my age. And then we instinctly high-fived each other. Oh! It was an extremely touching moment for me, and a memory that I carry with me to this very day.
Double Episode: Part 1: Celebrating Dad on Father’s Day, Peet calls in from the duct tape festival, With Chris’s upcoming trip to his nephew’s Christening, he studies up on how to be a good Godfather, SmorgShow Hotline Calls, Baba Gonesh shares a very touching Father’s Day story; Part 2: Classic SmorgShow Rewind: Chris and Dave Live at the Carlisle, originally broadcast on 6-29-84.
Featured Artists of the Week: Tony Mecca and Stephen Kellogg & The Sixers
A monk was driving in India when suddenly a dog crosses the road. The car hit and killed the dog. The monk looked around and seeing a temple, went to knock on the door. A monk opened the door. The first monk said: “I’m terribly sorry, but my karma ran over your dogma.”
This is a re-make of the opening track from our 1982 album, “Cow Dung and Chicken Tongue”. It was fun using 21st century technology to make this version.
An updated studio version of “Stuck in the Slammer Blues”, a new injury for Chris, and we breaking in the new Pizza Pizzazz after getting a recommendation from Steve Dahl, Philip Donald Performs, Baba Gonesh Jokes.
Featured Artist of the Week: Brett Mikels
An update on Baba’s new restaurant, prosthetic legs for sale, movie trivia, phone calls from the listener hotline, and another installment of “Where’s Tisha?” – the first Tisha Chicken sighting.
Featured Artist of the Week: Justine Bennett
Chris and Ally honor the brave men and women who have died serving our country in this special Memorial Day episode. Also, Baba Gonesh opens his new restaurant and delivers his weekly installment of “Baba’s Folk Tales”. An update on Tisha Chicken.
Featured Artist of the Week: Adam Woodall Band
Well, one day after Tisha was planted in the new SmorgShow Podcast Cache in Oswego, a local geocacher retrieved her! It took nearly 3 weeks after that point for her to find a new home – only 20 miles away in DeKalb County, IL. There she will rest for 91 days until she is moved again.
National Turtle Day honored, Peet calls in asking for technical help with his VCR, Baba Gonesh tells an Indian folk tale, the true cause of Elvis’s death is discussed, and a story about a fatal accident involving a toilet brush handle.
Featured Artist of the Week: Adam Woodall Band
Former WDGC-FM radio partner Daryl Woltman visits the SmorgShow studio. Ally teams up with her friend, Kat for this week’s show while the dads go out for a Portillo’s run; Riddles and stories; Baba Gonesh Comedy Camel.
We decided to give it another shot. This time, we took advantage of the advertising potential of this by promoting the SmorgShow Podcast on the attached luggage tag. Hopefully now, as Tisha makes her way to Chicken, Alaska those who find her will call the podcast hotline number and leave a message for the show.
Chris gets tickets to the upcoming Roger Waters The Wall tour and tries to get Ally excited about going; Chris and Ally explain the sport of Geocaching and launch the official SmorgShow Podcast Cache and Tisha Chicken Travel Bug into the wild; Baba Gonesh gives a lesson on how to clean your camel litter box, and strange news of the week.
Featured Artist of the Week: Allison Crowe
Chris discusses his torn rotator cuff. The SmorgShow Players reenact the old-time radio drama, “On A Country Road”. Also, Baba Gonesh returns with another “Thought for the Day”.
The origin of “ChickenTongue” is discussed, Chris and Ally discuss the teenagers who thought it was cool to destroy their new iPad; Chris plays an old recording of a phone call to Chicken Alaska, Ally wins the “Critic’s Choice Award”, Chris discusses his 25th year high school reunion, and Baba Gonesh Comedy Camel, the search for Dave Jackson continues, and weekly wacky news.
Featured Artist of the Week: Amy Courts
Ally’s performance in the Solo/Ensemble Choir Festival, Baba Gonesh Comedy Camel, the case of the loogie-laced Whopper sandwich, and new artist of the week debut.
Featured Artist of the Week: Dan-O
While Chris goes out for a pizza, Ally sneaks into the studio and does the show by herself. Philip Donald makes his debut appearance on the show.
Sympathy for the Deejay: Chris plays an old audio clip of what got them in trouble on the old Smorgasbord radio show. Chris and Dave reenact the night when Fred Moore called the radio station in an outrage. Fred as a contestant on the game show, “Get a Life”. Chris calls Peet to bust his chops for not listening to the podcast. Peet admits to not being tech savvy enough to download the show. Baba Gonesh Indian Folk Tale, “The Dog Bride”.
The SmorgShow players recreate the classic 1943 radio drama, “Sorry, Wrong Number”. Also, strange news stories of the week, Baba Gonesh’s Indian Folk Tale of the week, and a 2010 remix of “Slime”, from the Cow Dung and Chicken Tongue collection.
‘Murder in the Mansion‘ radio play. After Ally’s recent birthday party where she hosted a murder mystery, the SmorgShow Players create a radio-play version of the party’s script.
This began the springboard for us in creating all the subsequent old-time radio dramas in our SmorgShow Theater series.
We call Peet to ask for his advice and help on a plumbing problem since he has been in that industry for 25 years. He offers no more assistance than if we had referred to the Moen website ourselves. Chris’s dad who lives in Paris comes in for a visit so we give him a French culture quiz to see how well he is assimilating in France.
With Ally off celebrating her birthday with her friends, Chris does the show solo and brings out some old Chris and Dave Smorgasbord show bits (including Talent Line, “Get a Life”, the ‘Algebra – Not Just for Homework Anymore’ commercial, and Comedy Camel). Then, Baba returns from India with a classic Indian folk story to wrap up the show.
Ally’s Birthday Show: Chris and Ally discuss the origin and copyright protection of the “Happy Birthday To You” song; a discussion about birthday traditions around the world, Baba Gonesh calls in from India while celebrating the Indian holiday, Holi. Chris calls old WDGC partner Daryl Woltman, to discuss their daughters’ shared birthday; Peet’s Perspective.
Our version of the ‘The Dating Game’, another installment of ‘Peet’s Perspective’, Ally takes a current events quiz, and Baba Gonesh returns with another profound Thought for the Day.
Valentine’s Day Special: Baba Gonesh comes out of an extended retirement to recite some Valentine’s Day love poems and gives tips on how to prepare for that special date. Peet McCain returns to the program with the debut of his new weekly feature, “Peet’s Perspective”. Judy the Child whips up a special Valentine’s Day dinner, and Chris and Ally submit an entry into the Norah Jones karaoke contest.
Other features: For President’s Day, Ally recites the U.S. Presidents in record time. We receive a call on the feedback hotline from Canadian Astrologer, Mystical Melinda who last appeared on the Chris and Dave Smorgasbord Radio Show back in 1984. Chris unearths an old recording of his love song from 1982 called “The Black Cow”, and we wrap up the program with some very odd news stories.
Peet joins us by phone and talks about the origins of the Smorgasbord Radio show title as well as how Match.com has been working out for him. Ally gets outstanding academic achievement recognition. New game show “What did I say?” and an update on former WDGC-FM General Manager, Fred Moore.
Chris revives the old Smorg brand name after 25 years since Chris and Dave’s last show. This time Chris pairs up with his daughter, Allison in this new weekly podcast series. On this first episode, Chris updates the audience on what everyone has been up to since the original Smorg crew disbanded. Chris and Ally experiment with a helium tank and then make a road trip to the local Sonic.
Yes, after a 25-year hiatus, I am resurrecting the old Smorg brand name for a new project. My daughter and I are teaming up to do a weekly podcast together. The premier episode has been completed and the series can be found in the podcast section of this site, as well as at iTunes (just search for SmorgShow). This is a work in progress, so I expect this thing will grow over time. Since we aren’t broadcasting live, we can’t really take live phone calls, but we do have a special hotline to our studios: (312) 95-SMORG. Leave us a voicemail and we might include it in an upcoming show.
Our plan at this point is to have the new weekly episode up by late Sunday evening. Follow us on Twitter @SmorgShow for updates when new episodes are available.
It was quite a chore getting the studio put together again after all these years. Some of the old equipment still functions surprisingly well, given that it has been in the crawlspace for nearly 25 years. I even have my original Radio Shack Stereo Disco Mixer that I purchased back in 1979. Other things are just obsolete – no need to use cart machines or turntables when you have an iPod. However, despite having what I thought was every possible combination of audio connection wires, somehow I still needed additional ones to get the entire operation up and running. Good thing Radio Shack is still around. Where else can you find a 1/8” to 1/4” stereo male to stereo female Y-adapter at a moment’s notice? They have their old geeky customer back after all these years.
Looking forward to doing this again. Let’s see how long it lasts.
This was actually recorded 4 years after Episode 1. This serves as a prequel to the SmorgShow Podcast Series for anyone just now stumbling upon our program. Chris and Ally discuss the experience of doing the show together and provide an overview of what the program is all about. If you are just only now discovering our show, we hope you continue to explore the rest of our production catalog.
A sad day to start the new year. Just received word that Tisha has been kidnapped. Her total journey was 40 miles. Will have to try again in the spring. Note from the Geocache log:
Location: Illinois, United States Log Date: 1/1/2010
grabbed this guy, unfortunately the chicken is no longer attached and it wasn’t in the cache, just the tag on a keyring.
This was recorded at the 20th Anniversary Smorg Reunion. A little impromptu skit with Chris and Dave. This ended up being the last video of the the two together.
The Snuggie was definitely the hot Christmas item for 2009 and Allison was the proud recipient of one. She wrote the script for this commercial and I edited this on New Year’s Eve.
Tisha has finally been picked up from her original launch point in Oswego, IL. We were starting to get a bit worried that she would be stuck there through winter if someone had not come along soon. She has moved about 45 miles north, which I suppose is good since her destination is Alaska. Here is the log entry from Geocaching.com:
Yesterday we picked up a travel bug in Oswego – when we got home we learned that its goal is to make it to Alaska. We were good for the first 45 miles, and this cache provided a nice roomy stopping point. If anyone planning to head North hits this cache, consider helping out the little guy (its number is DGEGWQ)
In a blog posting over the summer I mentioned that I had re-connected with a good friend of mine from high school, Daryl Woltman. We both had a passion for radio and were on the WDGC staff together. We were pretty close during our freshman and sophomore years and we even had done a few shows together in those early days. Something changed after that point. Once I teamed up with Dave Jackson, all my creative energies went into writing and producing those shows and Daryl and I kind of went our separate ways. Plus Daryl was appointed to station manager, so he was essentially a second set of eyes and ears to Fred Moore, our station’s General Manager. I felt like I had to be on my best behavior around Daryl, so obviously our relationship changed a bit. After 25 years, it was great to see Daryl again over the summer. I wrote previously about how we discovered that we became dads for the first time within two hours of each other. Our daughters share the same birthday. Daryl also revealed that I was somewhat responsible for him and his wife Bev hooking up. Bev was the DJ who came on after the last season of the Smorgasbord show. Apparently Daryl asked Bev on a date and she supposedly asked me whether Daryl was a good (read: safe) guy. I gave him a positive endorsement and Bev ended up going out with him. I guess you never really know how much impact you have on other people’s lives.
So during a recent blog posting I had mentioned that I was unaware of anything being planned for our 25th high school reunion. However, with the magic of Facebook, a grassroots effort to have a reunion grew quickly and we indeed had our reunion this past weekend. It was a pretty informal affair, basically just meeting up at a local brewpub after the DGN homecoming game. I showed up and when I walked into the room, I thought I was in the wrong place. I thought I had mistakenly entered another school’s 40th year reunion or something, but no – it was my 25th year class reunion! Man did we ever get old. Some people obviously weathered better than others. I guess in comparison to many I saw there, I didn’t feel quite as broken down as I had written about in my last blog when I referred to needing a mouthguard for mouth clenching and something to treat my sensitive scalp.
The great thing about these get-togethers is that everyone is on equal footing. The days of cliques are over. Cheerleaders and jocks actually mingle with the burnouts and radio geeks. It was a respectable showing, but came nowhere near to bringing the roughly 600 or so graduates from my class together. It was a good time overall, and people seemed sorry to see it end. But I left as I did at my 10-year reunion 15 years ago – without exchanging any contact information with anyone. I guess that is the nature of reunions. Really, the only thing that brings such a diverse group of individuals together is something they shared many many years ago. I do hope to keep in contact with Daryl. I think we have more in common than just having attended the same school a lifetime ago.
It’s been a while since my last blog posting, so it’s time to catch you up on a few recent happenings. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was starting to fall apart. I had my annual physical, and everything came up roses. My cholesterol reading was the lowest since my early 30’s, my blood pressure was normal, and all other stats were within normal range. But lately I’ve been plagued with dull headaches, sore jaw, sensitive scalp, and nothing in my blood report indicated anything was wrong. Then it dawned on me…at my last dentist appointment earlier this year, my dentist asked me if I was under a lot of stress because she saw signs of mouth clenching. At the time I said no. I didn’t think I was under any stress, and I wasn’t showing any visible physical signs, other than with my back teeth which was only visible to my dentist. Flash forward about six months, and everything started to make sense with the headaches and sore jaw. I went back to the dentist and she confirmed the situation got noticeably worse and she recommended that I be fitted with a night time mouthguards to stop the clenching. I thought I would have to be fitted with one of those molds that covers the entire top of the mouth, but with recent medical advances I got this little custom-fitted plastic device that fits only over the two front teeth. I found a picture of what it looks and posted it here. So no, I’m sorry to say this is not my mouth, although I am envious of this individual as it appears he/she has a very healthy gum line. Anyway, the cost of this little plastic thing was $640.00!! I am definitely in the wrong business. Fortunately my insurance picked up a good portion of this. I’ve been wearing it for about 3 weeks now, and headaches and jaw aches are pretty much gone.
As far as the sensitive scalp goes, my dentist didn’t think the pressure being caused by the mouth clenching would necessarily lead to what I was encountering there, so she referred me to a dermatologist who prescribed a special shampoo called Loprox. I picked it up at the drugstore and had to pay $30 for a 120ml bottle that should last about a month. You think that is expensive for a shampoo? The bag said that my insurance saved me $170.00, so it would have cost me $200.00. So why am I telling the world about this? I have no idea. Other than this whole health incident has consumed me for the past couple months. I guess this is what happens when you start getting up there in age. Fortunately I am still young enough for there to be solutions to these problems. I guess the duration between these types of things will shorten over time, and the seriousness will grow. This all has happened leading up to my 25th high school reunion which I will write about afterwards. I’m sure those folks have their own health stories to tell. Meanwhile, I will just have to live with looking like a buck-toothed beaver at night. But at least I have the most expensive hair to get me through the day.
It would be great to hang out at this bar. Tisha is going to have an awesome time once she arrives.
As a child, I remember discovering Chicken, Alaska on a military map with my best friend, Peet McCain. Chicken didn’t appear on the average travel map that you used for long, family road trips. I soon became obsessed with this far away land and wanted to learn more about it. After calling Alaska directory assistance repeatedly on my high school radio show, I quickly realized that no one really knew of this place, not even the local phone operators. We were put on hold for several minutes while they tried to locate the town in their system. It turns out there was no established phone service! How odd! And as of the most recent census of 2000, there are still only 17 people living there (consisting of 4 families). There is a post office as you can see in this picture, but still no phone service! However, after years of calling to see if we could establish contact with someone there, Chicken Alaska can now be found on just about any road map. We take personal pride that we were somehow responsible for putting Chicken on the map. So while we would love to visit there someday, it is not really a convenient drive so we instead decided to send Tisha Chicken there in our place. We will be launching her into the wild on August 30, 2009. Check back for the video of the historic event!
The name Tisha Chicken was taken from a book written by Anne Hobbs Purdy, a former inhabitant of Chicken, Alaska. “Tisha” is the story about the Alaskan wilderness and the difficulties of a close-set community, prejudices against natives, and the hard winter. We will soon be launching Tisha into the wild through the popular outdoor sport called Geocaching. Please check back soon when we post the launch video where you can witness this historic trip. From there we will report her progress along the dangerous, 2700 mile journey to Chicken, Alaska.
It’s been a while since my last post. I don’t know what has been up with me lately, but I have had zero inspiration for anything remotely creative. All this new technology that allows us to communicate the status of our lives to the rest of the world in a nano second, and yet I have nothing to say. “57 Channels and Nothing On”, I suppose.
Today marks the 25th anniversary of my high school graduation. And on this very day, I heard from a long lost radio partner – someone that pre-dates the Smorgasbord show. Daryl Woltman and I connected by phone. We did a few shows together when we first started out on WDGC, I’m guessing 1981 or so. I think we did primarily a music show together. During our call today, I learned that we share a significant milestone date in our lives – we became dads on the very same day and year. Only three hours separate the births of our daughters. Pretty cool if I do say so myself. That alone is reason enough to get the girls together. They can gather around and listen to their old fart dads relive the old days of high school radio. Here’s to you, Daryl! It’s good to be in touch with you again.
As for recognizing the actual anniversary of graduation day, I guess I don’t really have that much to say. There is no official reunion in the works to my knowledge. I went to the 10-year reunion in 1994. That was too fresh. I hadn’t really missed anyone yet. No one had done anything except maybe complete college and find their first job. I skipped the 20-year reunion and didn’t really miss it. So I wonder whether I would really get anything out of seeing everyone now, this far down the road. I guess the interesting stuff begins to happen to someone by 25 years after high school. By that time people usually have significant life milestones under their belt. In retrospect, I am happy with how my last 25 years turned out. I have no regrets, really…only experiences and accomplishments that I wouldn’t trade for the world. That alone is worth celebrating.
–Webmaster Chris
My daughter Allison on the eve of her 11th birthday. We decorated the basement for her birthday party and this is her jamming to Miranda Cosgrove’s hit song “About You Now”. This brings back memories of me when I had disco parties back in the true day of disco.
Here’s a way to make a difference during the very difficult economic downturn of 2008.
Happy New Year! The holidays are behind us and I must say that it was one of the best in recent memory. For one, Peet came out to stay with us for the week. But also, with the downturn of the economy and everyone supposedly “cutting back”, I felt the pressure was off this year in terms of making sure just the right gift was purchased for everyone. In reality, I think we really did end up cutting back and focusing on the important things. It was a time to reflect on all the things we are thankful for – and there is plenty. I am very fortunate not to be one of the many out there looking for work at this time of year. I’ve been there before – in fact 5 years ago this month I was out of work for about a 6-month period. In hindsight, that was one of the best periods of my life. Setting aside the pressure of trying to find a job before my severance pay ran out, I was with my family all around the clock. I spent quality time with my daughter during those formative years that would have otherwise been lost had I been consumed with my career priorities. So the lesson in all of this for me is “less is more”.
So I start this year feeling thankful as well as optimistic, despite the news media’s best efforts to make me feel hopeless. Some people are looking forward to the new year and feeling that we are ending one era and beginning a new one in terms of a new administration in Washington. But I instead was drawn to a headline today that said we are finally at the end of another era – the death of the VHS tape! Apparently there was only one remaining U.S. manufacturer still making blank VHS tapes and the last shipment was sent to retailers this past week. There are apparently only 2 million unsold VHS tapes left out there to be purchased and after that batch is gone, that is it. Gone … in the dustbins of history. Joining its ancestors…the BetaMax tape, the 8-track tape, the floppy disk…the Laserdisk. But for some reason, the VHS is more personal to me. It was the primary form of media that I used from my teenage years on. All our videos that are now being digitized for this website started out on VHS. It was the first way to cheaply capture videos of ourselves and family…and soon, not long after the last tape is sold, the magnetic recordings on these tapes will soon begin to fade into history unless they are transferred to something more permanent. But now I am just rambling, so I will sign off for now.
Here’s to the VHS and to a great 2009! Actually, I could care less about the VHS. They take up way too much room.
—Webmaster Chris
The Christmas shopping season has finally begun for me. Like many others this year I am cutting back on my purchases and being very selective of what I actually do buy. I typically dread heading to the malls. I get quickly irritated by the process of finding a parking spot – usually getting behind someone who sits there waiting for a family of six to load up their car and pull out just so they can get a spot really close to the doors. I decided to take a different approach this year. I made it a point not to be in a hurry, not to expect to be done in an hour, and not to worry about the mobs of people pushing and shoving through the store aisles. You know what? It actually worked this year. I was happy. I was patient. I left the malls accomplishing everything I needed to buy and I still had a happy face.
About an hour into my shopping spree, I passed through a section of a particular store that had perfume testers. I sampled two of the fragrances – you know, spraying the little paper strip that they provide. I sniffed both but at the time I thought they were too strong so I kept going. I finished up all my shopping elsewhere in the mall, headed back to my car and proceeded to leave the mall parking lot and go home. When I rubbed my nose, I smelled a bit of one of the fragrances that I sampled and it smelled really nice. Apparently I had missed the strip of paper and some of it got onto my hand. I decided to go back and buy it. This was a mistake. By this time the mall was more crowded and parking was very difficult to find. An ice storm had started and the wind had picked up. I reminded myself that I was going to have a happy face and made it a point not to get irritated.
I went back to the store with the perfume samples. I could not remember which of the two fragrances was the one I liked. I sprayed the strips again, but like the first time they seemed a bit strong. I waited a few minutes, but still they never smelled like my hand did after an hour. The salesgirl came over to find out if I needed help. I explained my situation. She asked to smell my hand…which I thought was beyond the call of duty. She couldn’t say for sure but told me that the fragrances can smell different on the skin versus the paper strip and suggested I spray my hand and wait a bit. I sprayed my left hand with one and my right hand with the other. I was so confused with all the scents so I waited a few minutes and thought it was the left hand. I got into the very long line with my selection and just waited my turn. I started to have doubts about the one I selected. I decided right then and there that it was my right hand that was the one I liked. So I went back to make the switch. This time, the salesgirl came back and told me I could get the lotion of the same scent for only $10 more. I agreed to buy that as well and went back into line. I then decided to open the lotion, and puff a bit of the air out of the tube so that I could smell it. By doing so, I also squeezed out about 3 inches of lotion which I had no choice but to rub it into my hands.
And that is how I ended up smelling like a woman. No wonder I still had a happy face.
The one-dollar giveaway promos.
Promo #1 is a parody of the WLS-AM cash giveaway calls, where we used the same background music from Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon”.
Promo #2 was from the Chris and Dave Smorgasbord 1984 Summer Series.
Every now and then I work up the courage to venture into my crawl space. I ran out of lazy things to do over the Thanksgiving holiday, so I decided to get productive and clean out some old junk that I have been holding onto for years. So in the process of doing just that, I came across this gem of a recording. It is the very first audio recording of me – recorded Friday July 23, 1976. This is a skit that my dad and I put together over summer vacation that year. I guess in some ways this was the official launch of my interest in broadcasting and tape recordings. I can still remember my first tape recorder.
I was fortunate enough to be able to make a digital copy of this recording because two of my tape decks didn’t even recognize the recording any longer since magnetic recordings don’t last much longer than 25 years. However, one of my tape decks came through so I was able to do the digital transfer and preserve these early memories a bit longer. Enjoy this very personal look into my childhood years.
My dad came out to visit for his 75th birthday and we decided to update the old classic with the latest technology and sound effects. Enjoy this new, more elaborate creation from SmorgShow Productions.
She’s been all over Europe. She’s been on Comedy Central. And tonight…yes, tonight, she is here at the Babylon Club. Buckle up – it’s going to be a “laughy” ride. Put your hands together and welcome…
IN THE BEGINNING
Peet came up with the show’s name “Smorgasbord” to represent a show with endless possibilities, where anything goes. Even though Peet was not allowed to be an “official” show member since he was from a different school, he would be a driving, creative force behind some of the best bits performed by Chris and Dave. The show would premiere on September 11, 1982, 8pm. Chris and Dave secured the prime-time Saturday night, 8-10pm slot for their crazy antics in Season 1.
We would still manage to sneak Peet on the air. One way was to record the shows from my home studio, and broadcast them later. Another way was to take the show off-site, as we did in the Spring of 1983, our first attempt at a remote radio show. We got total access to Castaldo Park in Woodridge, IL for our radio/TV show. Dave was not present for this broadcast since he could not get the day off from work (Rose Records).
CASTALDO PARK
In our first attempt at doing a remote broadcast, the extent of our audience that day was about four 6-year olds who showed up and gave us the finger. We couldn’t use that footage for the TV show. It was a pathetic turnout. Even my girlfriend at the time was embarrassed for us and left. I wonder what those kids are up to now. They’ve got to be in their 30’s by now. They are the Generation X slack-offs that I interview now! There is a picture in this slideshow of Peet wearing bright red pants. I remember he wanted to wear something that would look good on television. What was he thinking?
After the 1982-1983 season ended, Chris and Dave split up to do their own solo shows. Dave’s Sunday night show was called “Open Mind”, another “anything goes”-type show. Chris continued with the Smorg brand name. He teamed up with Geoff Beran, a rather quiet individual. The show worked, however, and built up a rather loyal following. “Smorgasbord Saturday Night” moved to the 10-midnight time slot, and had 26 shows. In February 1984, Chris would take the show to television in a 2-night simulcast between WDGC-FM and CATV. Sadly, no record of these TV shows appear to exist. In the 1983-1984 broadcast season, the Smorg crew did two more remote broadcasts, the Tivoli Bowling Alley and The Barn in Naperville.
TIVOLI BOWLING ALLEY
Our 2nd Remote Broadcast was a huge success. At first it was a bit intimidating walking into the bowling alley/pool hall, where the town burnouts called their home. We set up our equipment, and they all sat down waiting for us to entertain them. We decided to make them part of the show, so if we failed to please, they had everything to do with it. It ended up being a blast, especially when one charming young lad recited his holiday poem, Twas the Night of the Party.
THE BARN IN NAPERVILLE
Our 3rd Remote Broadcast – This show had the formula for both success and disaster all rolled up together. Although I’m not sure what success ended up coming of it. At least Peet and I cleaned ourselves up for this one. I think by this time, we had both already been laid. That certainly changes a guy.
We had given away 200 seats on the air for this live broadcast. Both Lisle and Downers Grove cable stations were there to tape the show for a later broadcast. We had 2 local bands open for us. We spent $200 to rent the place and Peet plopped down an additional $200 for pizzas. This was to be the show to push us in the upper stratosphere of high school radio fame! What could possibly go wrong???
On March 17, 1984 and Peet’s 20th Birthday, the largest snowstorm of that season hit. Naperville got 12 inches of snow dumped within a 10-hour period. Since most of our audience relied on their parents for transportation, a total of 7 people showed up. There was some good news – No one gave us the finger that night. Needless to say, for the next three months, Peet and I had pizza as an ingredient in everything we ate. (Sandwiches, salads, cereal, etc.). Chris and Dave tried to make the best out of the night. That was the first time Dave ever wore a tie!
After about 45 minutes we realized no one was going to show up. We left the stage and went home. A punk rock band took over. These guys were jerks. They were pissed off at the world. What were they pissed off for? They were getting free stage time. Plus they didn’t have $200 worth of pizzas to deal with.
SUMMER 1984
Chris and Dave’s Last Season: Following Chris’s 6-week suspension from the airwaves for parking his car on the grass outside the radio station, Chris and Dave reunite for 9 final shows. Shows include Live at the Carlisle (A fake live broadcast at a fancy banquet hall), Live on the Moon, Mystical Melinda’s Psychic Readings, and of course “The Final Chapter”, Chris and Dave’s last broadcast was heard August 17, 1984. For this last show, we broadcast for 6 hours. At midnight, all went silent at WDGC 88.3 FM. You can hear the best of these bits in the “Classic Chris and Dave” section of the site.
FALL 1984 – OFF TO COLLEGE I GO
There are a couple of shots here of my dorm room at NIU. This is where I would sleep for the next 2 years. Kind of scary looking back at this. It’s even scarier to think someone else is calling this home right now. That was in Douglas Hall at Northern Illinois University. We were known as the ‘Animal Floor’- $2000 in floor damage in the first semester. They had water slides on the floor which caused major flooding (duh!) as well as all the tiles to pop up. Some guy took a dump in the hall, and we had a psycho janitor who went brezerk when his mop handle was broken in half. The stories go on from there, but you get the picture. My first roommate was Ron Bruno – a heavy smoker and a Rugby player.
1985 – THE SUMMER OF HELL
1985 was labeled the year from hell by both Peet and me. I cannot possibly capture the horror of it all in writing. This was also the only year in all the ones documented on this site that was not documented in audio or video. I will attempt to outline some of the highlights here. Some of the lowest of the lowest are as follows:
– My parents’ divorce is final
– My childhood home is put up for sale – and sold
– My girlfriend breaks up with me, and my first date after that is with an alcoholic
– I move in with Peet for the summer in his studio apartment
– I work full time at Toys R Us for $120 a week
– Peet’s date tries to kill herself while we are out on a double date
One of the most difficult years of my life was 1985. To start the year off, the home I spent my teenage years in was put up for sale. To say I had great memories there is an understatement. My father designed that house and I grew up there between ages 12 and 19. A lot happens to a kid in that period and all of it was experienced within this house. A week before we moved out, we had a major bash. We had about 150 people there, most of whom wandered in off the street. Some trucker announced the party on his CB radio, so you can imagine what types of people showed up. This was the bash the Barn show was supposed to be. In May, the house was sold and that was that. My home was now officially in my college town of DeKalb, IL.
There a a photo somewhere in the slideshow of where I lived during the Summer of 1985. The picture doesn’t tell you much but it was hell on earth. This is also the place where my girlfriend broke up with me.
ALCOHOLIC GIRLFRIEND
Girlfriend is a very strong word here, but I went out with a girl over the summer of 1985 who I met at the Riverwalk in Naperville, IL. She and I went back to Peet’s apartment to drink a little. Peet and a couple of others were there as well, so it was quite innocent. The next morning, I woke up on the couch that I slept on for the duration of the summer. I felt something lumpy in the sofa. I pulled it out and it was a baby bottle. Peet had no idea where it came from. Later on that day, the girl I met came over to pick it up. No questions asked! A few weeks later while we were out on a date, she pulled out the baby bottle in the car and started sucking on the nipple. It turns out it was filled with wine. We were on our way to a UB40 concert at Poplar Creek Music Theater. When we were sitting in our seats she pulled out a plastic ziplock baggie filled with wine and drank that. During the show she stood up on her seat and fell backwards into the seats behind us. She was totally passed out. I had to drag her out of the concert, back to the car, and back home. I never saw or spoke to her again.
THE SUICIDE DATE
Toward the end of that summer, Peet and I went on a double date. We went down to Joliet where one of the girls lived. In the middle of a normal conversation, Peet’s date excused herself to go to the bathroom. After a few minutes we wondered what was taking her so long. It turns out she locked herself in the bathroom and slit her wrist. We spent the next several hours helping her get a grip. She didn’t do a “very good job” since she didn’t cut parallel to the vein, but it shook us up a bit. I ended up taking off with my date while leaving Peet in Joliet to keep an eye on his date. She eventually threw Peet out of her house and he ended up sleeping at the neighbor’s house. The neighbor just happened to have a son who was being released from jail THAT NIGHT and he was on his way home. So where are they now?? Rumor has it that Peet’s date ended up marrying her psychiatrist and the son who was released from jail was hit by a truck and was killed a year or two later.
1986
I completed my second year of college at NIU. It was also in this year that I realized I did not want to go into radio as a career, so I changed my major to Marketing. However, prior to this decision I was given a radio show at the NIU station. The timeslot was 6-9am on Sunday mornings (Who in college is up listening to the radio at that time??). I lasted two weeks at that before quitting altogether. I was not allowed to do a talk show as I had done in high school. It turns out Fred Moore was much more tolerant. I was forced to follow a progressive rock format and to play bands that I had never heard of. Dave continued to do shows on the station for the duration of his college career. Every now and then, I would sneak in the studio to do a 2-minute bit with him just for snicks.
This was the summer of telemarketing jobs. After one hour of rejections, I attempted to quit my job at World Book Encyclopedia. Instead they convinced me to stay on in their ‘verification’ department. This is where I would lose someone ELSE’s sales because I would have to call the customers yet another time to make sure they really bought from us. The customers would get so pissed at us that they would just pull their order.
That summer, I got a hold of a video camera and wanted to do a documentary of what I did after high school. Realizing only 2 years had passed and I accomplished very little, I went back to my old stomping grounds and did some shots there. I went back to the radio station and saw Fred Moore, General Manager for the station. He proudly showed me a wall display that listed his “Seven Commandments”, rules that were created as a result of the Smorg show we did. (No talking 2-on-mic, no belching on the air, etc.). After we left, Fred used samples of our show in his future radio classes. (Maybe to teach what not to do on the air??) This was perhaps our biggest compliment from Mr. Moore.
We were still sporting the Miami Vice image of the mid-80’s. There is a shot of us in this slideshow where we made the first of many homemade videos to come. “The Boys of Summer” was shot in my father’s downtown Chicago apartment, where I stayed during the summer of 1986. In another shot you will see me with Jerry in the Studio,. We went to one of those studios in the mall where you pick a song out of something like 2000 choices. It was an early version of karaoke, but you got to walk away with a tape of yourself singing over your choice of song. The one we did was ‘Born in the U.S.A.’
THE “FALL” OF 1986
Besides rooming with Dave Jackson during my junior year at NIU, I also roomed with Larry Flachmeyer, an old roommate of Peet’s. After a bad breakup with his Baptist girlfriend, presumably because her church did not approve of him, he became a bit disconnected. One fall evening, he attempted to climb our 6-story apartment building. He made it up to the 4th floor when he slipped and fell to the ground, shattering his pelvis in multiple sections. I always thought he had a name of a super hero (Flash Meyer!!) I can joke about this now because he lived. After initially being brought to a local hospital he was eventually flown by helicopter to a Rockford, IL hospital where is was laid up for 6-weeks.
NOTE TO EDITOR: There are several things wrong with this newspaper article. First, Larry did not fall from the 3rd floor – he fell from the 4th floor. This is major oversight as it undermines Larry’s effort that evening. Second of all, I don’t know what “sources” they are talking about, but he did not get locked out of his room. We were all at home that night – he just suddenly left the apartment and began his climbing expedition. We were in the living room when we heard a knock at my bedroom window. That is when we looked down and saw him on the concrete with glass all around him. What do you expect from shoddy reporting from a college newspaper?
1987
A lot happens over the course of this 2-year period. Dave and I go our separate ways after living together for a year and nearly killing each other over stupid things like eating cereal out of a gravy boat. Larry gets weirder after his hospital release and we have a falling out.
Rhythm of the Heat Video:
One Saturday night in the summer of 1987, we decided to make some music videos. This one was done by converting our living room into an African tribal scene to create a video off a Peter Gabriel song. We had a head start by having all wicker furniture to begin with. Note Dave “smoking a wicker bong” in the background. The bright light is our sad attempt at making a fake campfire. Larry was trying to sleep in the other room when this was going on, and he came out and threatened to call the cops on us if we didn’t stop.
The Lonely Guy in the Woods Bit:
After being simultaneously dumped by our respective girlfriends, Larry, Dave, and I did little else but hang around each other way too often instead of trying to date again. We started becoming pathetic lonely guys. We did things like dress up in P-coats and dark sunglasses and ride the dorm elevators on Saturday nights and just stare at girls coming on the elevator. We would also walk through the Wendy’s drive-up during a January blizzard and order Frostys. We were extremely pathetic.
The picture of Steve Martin and Charles Grodin in 1983’s “The Lonely Guy” is included here to show our inspiration for the Lonely Guy bit. Our story went something like this – After being kicked out of his apartment by his girlfriend, Lonely Guy #1 (Chris) brings all of his things to the park where he meets Lonely Guy #2 (Dave) and they decide to room together.
Dave, Larry and I rented the original movie a total of 26 times over the course of the semester. One day Larry was almost suicidal when he went to rent it and it was already checked out. He cheered up when he got back to the apartment and saw that I had already gotten it for the weekend.
Another “lonely guy” thing we used to do was call the pay phone across the street from our apartment. We already had the phone number for the pay phone. We would wait for any girl to go up to to the store and we would start ringing the phone. When she would answer we would say something like, “nice red coat you have on”. This really freaked them out and gave us something to do on Friday nights.
It was during this period that Jerry and I started to become real friends. This friendship was a nice transition from what was going on with me, Dave, and Larry. Larry began distancing himself from everyone. Dave and I started to drift. Blame it on living together. This can sometimes be a formula for disaster. We were better off working together creatively in the studio than sharing dishware and laundry soap. It started to heat up after Larry washed Dave’s underwear with a pink tie-dyed shirt. Dave went through the rest of the semester with pink undies.
1988
By the beginning of 1988, I had reached my breaking point. With only 4 more classes to complete before graduating, I realized I needed a new start away from Larry (and quite frankly, DeKalb). Dave and I had already stopped talking by this point. So Larry and I found a third new roommate to take Dave’s place. The new roommate was a bit psychotic in that he slept with a knife at night after going to sleep watching “A Clockwork Orange”. He would wake up screaming in the middle of the night on a fairly regular basis.
In January 1988 I got my appendix out. By May, I had my ticket out of that town after securing my diploma. Jerry and I started hanging out more and more by this point. We ended up signing a lease together. By the fall of 1988, I was living in Woodridge, IL., a mile away from my old house. I also got my first real job in Chicago at a marketing research company, Information Resources, Inc. (IRI). I was employed there for the next 15 years.
The Days of Adolescence
Jerry and I moved in together in an apartment in Woodridge, IL. Neither one of us had enough money to live alone, so we paired up for a year until I earned enough to get my own place.
One week before the start of the 90’s, I wrote a song to reflect on the fun as well as the pain over the past decade. It was off “The End of the Innocence” by Don Henley. It talked about growing up as as a teen in the 80’s, my days in radio, going off to college, surviving the summer of 1985, and it highlighted my personal values such as the true friendships in my life. It is still my best written song to date (if I do say so myself).
I went to Berlin Germany in July of 1990 to see Roger Waters perform the Wall at Potsdamer Platz, the site of where Hitler committed suicide. And I can honestly say that I was able to assist in tearing down the Berlin Wall!
There are some shots here of me getting a makeover. There was no apparent reason for this other than a lack of video material. I end up looking like Tim Curry from Rocky Horror Picture Show. After nearly 3 years of separating, Dave stops in for a visit right in the middle of the makeover bit. A lot can happen in 3 years as I’m sure he was thinking at the time. “What the hell happened to you?”
Peet McCain’s School for “Higher Earnings Through Deceptive Practices”
A survival skill dating back to the summer of 1985, Peet brings his ideas for making it to the next paycheck to life in this video. Here, Peet illustrates how to build a $25,000 credit rating just by floating a check between 3 banks. It was good to have Peet back for this. This was our first time together in 5 years doing something creative again.
The Lonely Guy’s Subliminal Dating Service:
After a miserable try with a video dating service, I came up with a fictitious service of my own. The premise was to take your image and broadcast it over the TV airwaves to reach the girl you wish to date. (Kind of like Coca Cola ads subliminally planted in a movie theater’s previews.) In this video, Jerry goes through the various positions as he would on a regular date:
– “An image of you bringing flowers to your date”.
“An image of you toasting your date with a glass of cognac…”
“An image of you cuddling up with her on that love seat…”
“…you and her engaged in sparkling conversation…
“…and don’t forget that goodnight kiss”.
Surprisingly, no one wanted to finance this idea. If anyone is interested, I will offer 50% of any profits made from the service. There are a lot of gullible lonely guys out there. Take it from me, as a former member of that club.
PSYCHO GIRLFRIENDS
After almost 6 years apart because of college, Peet and I were back together as close friends. We both moved to downtown Chicago only about 2 miles from each other that year.
By this point in our lives, we just about had had it with psychotic women. These are women who string you along because they don’t know what they want. Even though they have never been treated better by a guy before in their lives, they just can’t commit to a guy who would do anything for them. I had just come off of a series of bad relationships, including a pretty rough one which I wrote a journal about and read completely on Episode 109 of the SmorgShow Podcast.
Peet and I decide to put our trust in our pet Gargoyle. These trusty friends keep these psychotic women miles away from our apartment – it really worked!! I never dated a psychotic girl after this!!
RESTAURANTS
Two blocks from where I lived there were two restaurants next to each other. One was Chris’ Cafe and the other was Jerry’s Deli-Pub. We took this opportunity to make this bit to promote “our” restaurants. “Chris: A Cafe” – the name is both pompous and snooty and so was the menu. This was a healthier alternative to Jerry’s greasy spoon. Another example of impromptu creativity based on our immediate external environment. Couldn’t have planned this any better! Check it out below.
OTHER HIGHLIGHTS IN SLIDESHOW:
There are a few shots of Peet’s apartment include one of his nose sculpture and the infamous “Wall of Shame”.
Jerry sings his tale of woe: “Whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do, when your bitch be dissin’ you”. “You know they want commitment, they want us to care, but when we open up they go runnin’ scared.”
Jerry flips us the bird: One of the first things you learn in the city is not to give money to every homeless person who asks otherwise you will become one yourself. There is a shot in this slideshow of a very pissed off Jerry after a bum hit him up for 5 dollars. Jerry was not in the mood to be videotaped.
Rap Song ’91
1993
In and out of yet another relationship (not with a psychotic girl this time), it was time to reflect. This meant the same old thing: borrow a video camera, call Jerry and Peet and make some more videos. 1993 was also the year I would meet the girl I would eventually marry. After two years of living in the Streeterville area of Chicago, I ended up moving to a new place. The reason for this is as follows: In 1991, I signed a 2-year lease at a brand new building. They offered a great deal for new tenants. At the end of the lease, my rent was to go up to something like $800 for a studio. I lived in a prime area–right across from North Pier, so they were able to get away with those prices. In the summer of 1993, I moved into an apartment on the the 43rd floor of Presidential Towers, in the West Loop area of Chicago which allowed me to continue paying the same rent as I had the previous two years.
In the City Boyz highlights reel, there is a shot of Peet and me at Navy Pier. This is the last shot of us before both of us got involved in serious relationships. A month after this was taken, On July 1, I met the girl who was to become my wife just two years later. It was on the elevator at my residence. I was on my way to work that morning and this beautiful girl introduced herself to me. It turned out she worked for the same company and she recognized me. We joke now that if I had hit my snooze button just one more time that morning, we may never have hooked up.
Peet started dating a performance artist at this time. Because we were both tied down after this point, we didn’t do another full-length video until 1997.
1994
There is no video footage available for 1994. The main event in my life during this year was getting engaged over Memorial Day weekend at Disney’s Epcot center. The guys and I didn’t really hang out as much during this year. From this point on, my life changes entirely. My wedding date is now set for July 1, 1995.
July 1, 1995
The wedding date was set for exactly two years to the day that I met my wife on the elevator going to work. Not much to say here, as the pictures speak for themselves. I think it deserves its own separate scrapbook because it is a turning point in my life.
Both Peet and Jerry served as dual best men. It was great to see Dave again for my special day.
A couple of shots of Peet and Jerry making their best man speeches. Jerry somehow manages to sneak in the word, “schmuck” into his speech.
On To Maui for Our Honeymoon!
At the end of 1995, Peet and his girlfriend moved to New York City. Since I was busy doing the married thing along with buying a new house, I was too engaged in those events to get too melancholy about him leaving. After a while the reality began to sink in. It was tough for a while. Major events of 1996 : Buying a house and moving back to the ‘burbs. Specifically, only 5 miles from where I grew up.
When Dave and I got together for my Labor Day party at my new house, it gave us a chance to reconnect. After 14 years of having started the Smorg show, we realized we still had some kind of chemistry. There are a couple shots of me with Dave here in my backyard of the new place. We managed to sneak in one creative bit – a Red Ass Ale Commercial.
Although we knew we weren’t going to get back together to do amateur radio again, Dave invited me to guest star on his last show for WDCB, the College of DuPage radio station. Yes, it indeed happened. For one night only, Chris and Dave reunited at the mic for a one-bit reunion show on WDCB. This was the last show for Dave at this station, so we thought it would be fun to sign off together. It all seemed very natural for me to sit at the mic again after almost 10 years of being off the air. Although the bit lasted only under 10 minutes, it was a classic in the making. We probably alienated Dave’s audience with some stories about the old days, but we didn’t care. This moment was for us.
Jerry had his own 70’s soul show which followed Dave’s blues show. Here’s a video from that segment.
October 18, 1996 : My 30th birthday. We celebrated at the Corner Pocket in Chicago. Kim rounded up about 20 of my friends for the bash. Absent from these party photos is Peet, who had moved to New York City the prior year. There aren’t too many photos from this event, so this slideshow also includes shots from the next year as well.
1997
1997 marked the 20th anniversary of my friendship with Peet. Peet came into town from New York City and this was our chance to do some reflecting. We put together a “Greatest Bits” video with all of our old video clips included. But in between the segments we recorded new clips of us visiting some of our old stomping grounds. This scrapbook documents some of those places.
Now we are really going back in time on this one. There is a photo of me pointing to an area that used to be a creek. In 1977, Evil Knievel was huge and we all tried to act like him on our bicycles. This is where I tried to jump over the creek on my bike. I had absolutely no leverage, so my front tire never cleared the edge. I flew over my handlebars and cut my lip as well as lost a tooth.
There is a shot of the garage of my first home in Illinois. Going back here was really depressing. What a dump this neighborhood became. I lived here from 1974 through 1978. Peet lived right across the street from me. Peet’s brother was about two years younger than I was. Since every kid needed someone to pick on, I used Peet’s brother Greg for this purpose. Greg used to get Peet to help him out and then Peet would go after me. Since Peet was 5 foot tall and 200 pounds at age 11, I was able to outrun him. Eventually Peet found out I had an easy way to get on John Landecker’s WLS program and we became friends out of this.
Peet and I went to a school district that was testing a cutting edge vacation plan. Instead of going to school for 9 months and then getting off for 3 months during the summer, this district had us on a track system. We would go 9 weeks in session and then get off for 3 weeks. Then we would go 9 weeks and then get off for 3, and so forth. They had us divided up in 4 groups so basically the school was in session all year and you were not guaranteed to be off on vacation at the same time as your friends. Whoever came up with this incredibly STUPID idea should be tried for insanity.
We also returned to the old stomping grounds of the Barn and Castaldo Park.
Life was never the same for me after this point. Just days after these shots were taken, I found out that I was going to be a dad.
In March of 1998, my daughter was born. Life is never the same for me again. That little girl has brought a whole new dimension to my life. This video scrapbook is dedicated to my daughter, Allison.
Just 12 years later, this little girl would become the next co-host of the Smorgasbord Radio Show!
2001
Peet started the year by moving out of New York City, and to Cleveland, Ohio. This was also Peet’s big year, as he finally settled down and got married. I drove out to Ohio to meet his soon-to-be wife, Luanne in March. In April, I served as best man at his wedding. And then of course, September 11 came and we all were impacted in our own personal way. We will always remember where we were when it happened. I spent the evening of 9/11 at a Laurie Anderson concert. She didn’t cancel the performance, so I thought it would be a good place to be at the time.
2002
Okay, it wasn’t exactly the event of the decade, but the chemistry was all very much in tact after all these years. The Smorgasbord team reunited at Chris’s house on Saturday June 8 for six hours of bonding, reminiscing, and a little ‘Spinal Tap’ thrown in for comfort. We tried to create an Osbournes-like feel to the video we shot. Some of it came out like that, but other parts will likely never see the light of day. There was, however, enough stuff to pull out and stick on the 20-year Anniversary video that came out in fall, 2002. You will also find many additional clips from this evening posted in the SmorgTV section of this site.
2004
The year started out on a really sour note. On January 15, I was laid off from my job of over 15 years. It turns out the timing of it all was for the best. The first week of January, my daughter Allison ended up in the hospital. What started out being just a case of strep throat, ended up leading to a secondary infection in her lymph glands. Her neck got so swollen to a point where antibiotics were not doing the trick, that she needed to have surgery to have it drained. It was a long recovery for her after that, and it was a blessing to have had the time off from work to help her recuperate. I was able to bond with my family for 5 months while drawing on both unemployment and a generous severance package. I ended up saving more money over this period of time than I had at any other point in my life. On June 21, I ended my time off by heading back to work for a new company, DoubleClick. In fact, I am typing this from my hotel room in Broomfield, Colorado. I just came back from a day of training, and a fantastic dinner at the Walnut Brewery in Boulder. There is a nasty storm brewing outside now, so I am just reflecting on the last several months.
August 26, 2004 – I nearly died from a massive head injury today. I was eating lunch on a park bench outside my office building. The bench was encased within this pointy metal sculpture and I came up straight on the point of it. Whoever designed this thing should be handcuffed and imprisoned. With blood squirting everywhere at the beat of my pulse, I managed to get inside the office building where I nearly fainted outside the first floor cafeteria. I made quite a scene collapsed outside the cafe – people trying to walk over me to get lunch and seeing me sweating profusely with a blood stained shirt. Fortunately I was blessed to have a couple ladies call 911 for me and sat with me to make sure I didn’t pass out. Men are absolutely worthless in these situations. One guy just walked past me – just stared – and managed to say “Dude!!”. An ambulance took me away and I got 10 stitches in my head. Good times.
December 13, 2004 – After six months at my interim job at DoubleClick, I made the move to a smaller direct marketing firm in the town over from me. So ends six months of daily commutes lasting as much as 4 hours round trip.
2005
10-year wedding anniversary, renewed vows at the church that we became members of in 2002.
2006
Featured in much of this slideshow are some photos of me with each of the guests at my 40th birthday celebration on October 7, 2006. I had a wonderful time creating yet more memories with people that have been a major part of my life. I think I calculated 21.25 years as the average span of these friendships, the earliest going back to 1975! If you were there, thanks so much for being part of this special life milestone!!! Represented here are friends from my early childhood, high school, and IRI, my employer for 16 years.
We borrowed a fire pit from a neighbor. The evening was a typical October night – low 50’s. We were blessed with a full moon which lit up the autumn evening sky. The firewood smell lingered for days – in our clothes, in our house, EVERYWHERE!
My good friend Kelly for over 25 years brought birthday cake shots. Click Here for the recipe!
Editor’s Note: I didn’t realize how many of these slideshow shots contain booze in one form or another!
About 22 years have passed since I last saw Fred Moore, my high school Radio and TV teacher and General Manager of Downers Grove, IL radio station WDGC-FM. I caught up with Fred in Ottawa, IL over the weekend as his production “Seventh Inning Stretch” came through the area. I was so impressed to see what Fred has done in his post-teaching days and how much energy the “ol’ guy” still has!
His production company, Programs Unlimited, consists of Fred and his wife of 50 years, Sharon. They travel across Florida, New York, Colorado, and the Midwest each year and do 200+ shows. “Seventh Inning Stretch” is one of 15 of their programs and is all about baseball – the history, its legends, and its music. I was also surprised to hear that Fred still has a great set of pipes! It was great to see Fred again after so many years. Enjoy the attached video clip of Fred singing.
It is with much sadness that we bring you the news that Pink Floyd’s Richard Wright passed away today after a short struggle with cancer. It goes without saying that he will be greatly missed. A founding member of the early Pink Floyd, his distinctive keyboard work was a cornerstone of the band’s music, yet his contribution was of course so much greater than that, as a vocalist and songwriter, responsible for many significant pieces of music throughout the band’s career. The Live 8 performance back in 2005 was the last one we will ever see or hear from the classic line up. That event marked the first time in 25 years that the classic line-up reunited on stage. A very sad day, indeed.
A pretty funny clip from a recent Don Imus broadcast.
How’s that for a blog entry title? The truth of the matter is I tried fried pickles for the first time in my life and it is indeed still true – you can fry anything and it tastes good! Okay maybe I should put this in more context: Peet made his bi-annual trip out to my house over the most recent weekend. We then hopped in the car and made a road trip to visit our dear friend Kelly – of almost 30 years – at her new home in Danville, Illinois. Danville is no foreign place to us. Oh, we have definitely been there before! Our first trip in 1985 played a big part in our “summer of hell” weekend when Peet’s date almost committed suicide. That particular trip to Danville is when Peet went nearly blind after putting hard contact lens cleaning solution directly in his eyes.
The next year in 1986, we went back to Danville and got locked in a cemetery that was a part of some forest preserve. They had closed up the gates after hours and we attempted to drive around the locked gates at the only point where there was an opening. Unfortunately, getting up onto the actual road required us to drive up a huge incline, and my Toyota Celica was not up to the challenge. My car slid right back into the ditch and we needed to get towed out.
So why did we want to go back to Danville again after all these years? Well, it turns out third time was a charm. This time around our trip was flawless – good food, good friends, good s’mores, simply put.. good times. Although it had the potential for not working out that way. Check out our new video on YouTube documenting our weekend – I almost broke a hip and it was caught on video! This truly demonstrates that you are never too old to create new memories.
This is “Silent Movie Allison”. It’s a silent movie about a turkey surprise after smelling gifts…yeah I don’t know…so just kick back, relax, and keep your hand OFF that mouse! It’s also Allison’s 10th Birthday! Man, where did the time go?
Here is a video of my daughter and her best friend performing in the 4th grade variety show. They are reenacting that old Brady Bunch scene where Greg and Mike do the Father-Son talent show. Mike does a dramatic reading of a Longfellow poem, “The Day is Done”. It’s so boring that special effects are added by Peter and Bobby from the theater balcony to make it more interesting. My daughter takes on that role of the boys in the balcony.
This cleaner is SO fired! First the unexplainable stinky pants, and now this flannel shirt comes back with too much starch. I literally took it out of the bag and dropped it on the floor like this. It is standing on its own.
No trick photography here, just a really stiff shirt.
Happy New Year! Forgive me for my lengthy absence from this weblog. The holidays were nice and now it’s back to the real world. I had a very interesting day today. I have been using a home delivery service for my dry cleaning for about 3 years now. No major issues – very convenient, reliable – until today. I unwrapped the garments that were delivered yesterday and I nearly passed out from the very peculiar odor that was coming off them. It was a cross between vomit and manure – not exactly sure which but neither scenario is pleasant.
For some strange reason it was just the pants – shirts were fine. They must have switched to a new dry cleaning agent or something. I have been trying to get this mystery solved all day today with the dry cleaner. In the meantime, I left the bag of clothes out to air dry in our laundry room. Now the wife and daughter called to tell me the entire laundry room smells like throw up. I guess the vote is in – and the winner is vomit!
I just received an email saying that “Bernie” was looking into it. More later.
-Webmaster Chris
Okay – I am so ready to move on from the big 25 year anniversary hoopla. In fact, to be honest, it was such a disappointment. Not a single acknowledgment from anyone. Dave was inaccessible. There was no reunion. I am finished with recognizing this milestone. Time to move on…
Next big event is coming up – #41 for me. Peet is coming out for the big birthday celebration. New photos to be posted soon from whatever we end up doing. Kinda expect this one to be lower key than last year’s celebration.
Until then, enjoy whatever is going on in your life.
Webmaster Chris
This is the 3rd posting in a series of installments this month.
Today marks the 6th anniversary of the 9/11/01 terrorist attacks. A very reflective kind of day. The weather in Chicago is much the same as it was on Tuesday 9/11/01. It also has that back-to-school crispness in the air which puts me back to an earlier time, 9/11/82 to be exact.
It was a Saturday – the first night of the brand new Chris and Dave Smorgasbord radio show. The pressure was high. We had been promoting the show for a couple of weeks and we knew we were going to have many listeners on opening night. Outside of doing a few promos together, Dave and I had never really been on opposite sides of “the glass” before – the divider between the two studios. We certainly did not have the rhythm or timing down in our back-and-forth banter. Looking back from 25 years later, I think we did alright on opening night. It was the start of something big – not only would we go on to produce more than 50+ shows together, but we would also go on to form a pretty solid friendship that lasts to this day.
A couple of standout moments from the first show – The HPs’ (abbreviated for “Hop On Pop”) performance of Dr. Seuss’ “Mr. Brown Can Moo” and the debut of ‘Homework Hotline’ (where we received a gameshow bell later in the week from the first contestant, who ended up becoming my girlfriend for 3 years after that).
At this point, I felt Dave had more control over the show, both in terms of execution but strategic direction. Not only did he work the controls, and answer the phones, but he chose essentially all the music. This is why lots of Frank Zappa, rare Zeppelin tunes, and Al DiMiola ruled the airwaves (of course, at this time I was still very much into Styx, Queen, ELO and REO, so I am not sure what would have been better).
I close for now wishing all a Happy Anniversary, especially to those who supported us on our first day! I will make one more posting later this month where I will discuss the fallout/aftermath of our first couple of shows, including our first run-in with management which almost ended our show for good after week #2.
Cheers.
– Webmaster Chris
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